Re-purposing Draft 2 (+ Feedback)
“Passive.” –Shelley Manis
I wrote in the passive voice quite a bit in this draft. I think I did that in order to distance myself from the opposing argument. However, it did lead to me making more broad generalizations throughout the rest of the piece.
“Too broad of a generalization; society isn’t sentient” –Shelley Manis
Here is an example of how passive voice leads broad generalizations. I believe what was holding me back from using the active voice was the fear of sounding too preachy or accusing. When I spoke with my professor about this, she suggested that I ask questions rather than state claims about the opposing argument.
“’What does it mean to be practical?’ Good!” –Shelley Manis
Out of all the aspects of the debate that I’ve looked at, this intrigues me the most. In casual conversation, we don’t usually talk about what it means to be practical. Writing this article was a great opportunity to exercise more reflective writing.
“There’s a disconnect between title and first line.” –Shelley Manis
Here’s another point where I notice that I’ve spent more time explaining the debate rather than answering my questions about it.
“Humanities majors think analytically; not all theoretical” –Shelley Manis
Upon hearing this, I began to see the additional danger of making generalizations. Not only was I speaking vaguely about groups of people, but I was also starting to make assumptions and not disprove them. This was the exact opposite of what I wanted to do.
“This is where the most potential for nuanced argument so far.” –Shelley Manis
I agree that the key concept in this argument is that people always are in situations that pertain to both the sciences and the humanities. I decided to include a video in the final draft that addresses this idea.
“Unpack and apply” –Shelley Manis
Here, I lack examples of the kinds of skills that employers are looking for. It’s essential that I include them, since my article aims to help and give direction to those who don’t know what to study yet.
“Maybe lead with ‘What can you do with that?’” –Shelley Manis
For the next two drafts, I took this question and restarted forming my argument and the article around it. I’ve been focusing so much on laying out the opposing argument, which I’ve neglected to answer this question myself. Leading my article with this essay makes sense since my audience is college students, the people who would like to know the answer to this question the most.