The argument hasn’t changed for this draft, but the audience has. I’ve focused it down to other college students, rather than all members of academia. However, I still aim to have teachers and administrations as the secondary audience. My goals for this paper also changed too. At first I only wanted to gain more experience writing something other than a research paper. As the project progressed, I found that I wanted to get better at communicating ideas to peers. This is part of the reason I wanted my primary audience to be other college students.

 

I felt better about this draft compared to the first one, but I definitely thought it could be better. While there was much more I could to improve it, making this draft had helped me better see what I could do to make the piece better. I had trouble knowing when to incorporate narrative, and I didn’t even know to what extent I should take it. I wanted a good balance of facts and narrative, but I also wanted it to flow well. I resolved to try incorporating more personal stories. I figured it would help me achieve the tones I’m aiming for: encouragement and comfort. At the same time, it could minimize the generalizations I was still struggling with.

 

If you're interesting it more of my process for this draft, check out the feedback from my professor, located here. You'll find not only her comments but also what my responses and plans of revision for the next draft.